Happy Mary Kay New Year Friends~

Scrolling. Like. Love. Why don't I... What if I did... How did she?... How come I didnt ... I am never doing that again... I hate that I... This isn't ok... It's because I... Its' just not for me... I am...

I AM.

Have you ever layed in bed late at night and felt a complete sence of inadequacy as you take a look at everyone else's highlight reels on social media?  Why do we beat ourselves up even though we know social media is a false representation of someone's authentic self. We are programmed to only post the highlights, the great, the positive the fun. We don't post the hardships or our authentic hurt, you will be unfollowed in a heartbeat. And God forbid you see your followers have decreased rather then increased. Could their be anything more heart wrenching then the thought that people don't like your social media platform? Unfollow me? Do you hate me? You must.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Our value and our worth should not be based on someone's ability to click a button on an impulse feeling of like or love but as much as we say it doesn't define us, for many of us, it does.

Today is our Mary Kay New Year, July 1st. It's a day where all of our numbers set back to zero. Everyone starts at the exact same starting point. Given we all start at the same exact place why is it that we will all end at very different places on June 30th, 2019? We all have nothing but possibilities ahead of us yet anxiety, self sabbotage, doubt, comparison, and fear will be the main determining factor of our goals and dreams coming to fruition or being crush by the words that follow I AM.

As I continue to scroll. Like. Love. Is that jealousy? I don't understand? I am genuinely interested in seeing women succeed on every platform of women empowerement, in or out of Mary Kay. I love watching women run for a dream, stepping out in faith and getting uncomfortable. Don't I? So why is it that I still feel this way when I scroll? What is my truth? Is it comparison? Is it scarcity mentality? I lay in bed wondering where my heart truly lies.

Is it just me or as of January 1st everyone took an interest in becoming the next instagram sensation/blogger/story teller. It has given me so much anxiety that I almost decided not to persue my passion for writing a blog. I didn't want to be "one of them." That statement doesn't come from love now does it? It sounds so bitter yet this has been my reality. For the past 7 years I have poured my heart and soul into building a business on People and Love. I started getting resentful watching somoene overnight become instagram famous by changing their instagram name and posting 15 stories a day all of which lead me to "swipe up." All of this being created behind a computer with the ultimate form of rejection being that someone can unfollow you. Meanwhile I have been building a business where rejection happens over phone calls, on coffee dates, in person, in heart to heart conversations. The kind of rejection that keeps you up at night where you can replay the conversations and feelings it left inside you over and over until you force yourself to count backward from 60 just to try to fall asleep at 3am.  The kind that makes you realize you generally care so deeply about a person who was a complete strager to you not 30 days prior and you think to yourself, is it worth it?  I believe in people and love building relationships but I still cant help to wonder sometimes on those late nights of rampid replays of tough conversations, is it worth it?  

So back to the question. Is it jealousy? Is there something wrong with me? Do I wish for an easier path?

I AM.

I am going to say it is growth. I am learning that their is room for everyone at the top if they are willing to do the work. Feelings like these are normal. I am aware of them. That is step 1. I can catch them in their tracks and turn that feeling of uneasiness into joy and celebration. How aware are you of what is going on inside of you when you are scrolling? What words are you saying to yourself when scrolling. 

I AM.

As a new Mary Kay year rolls in we set New Year Resolutions and we are blessed that in Mary Kay we get the opportunity of an annual fresh start twice a year. This year I will focus on using social media as a platform to celebrate, not compare. Share my passion not boast fake success. A platform for empowerment not a network to make others feel defeated. I will scroll on purpose to embrace other women's success and embrace the goodness of this world. I will LOVE more to remind myself that the love and belief I have for others is worth the pain and heartbreak it can cause later.  I will like and love without jealousy but authentic joy.  I will continue to remind myself that creativity comes in all forms even if it's not face to face. Find gratitude for the outlet of expression social media has allowed so many and the ability to express their feelings when maybe otherwise they would remained silent. I will represent the millenial generation as smart, hard working, determined and loving no matter how we choose to build our empires, because lets face it, our generation is all about building it big. At the end of the day I need to ground that little voice in my head and remind myself we are all after the same thing. We all want to be heard, love/be loved and to leave this world a little better then we found it.

I AM.

What important words will follow to help you create the next 365 day ahead of you. The words that follow I AM will shape your home, your relationships, your kids and your future. Be aware friends.

I am genuinely cheering for you all!  Dream big friends!  We can do this together!

Love,

#Fallonsmymarykaygirl